A great many younger people enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations.
They believe that their spouse will know and meet all their physical and emotional needs.
Within days of their wedding they become disillusioned and disappointed in their spouse.
I blame the officiates who did not properly prepare the couple as much as the couples themselves.
Everyone who wants to get married would do well to seek out premarital counseling and avoid these issues.
Indeed, little disappointments can add up and turn into deeply held resentments which easily destroy marriages.
Let’s look at several steps to help avoid these problems.
Begin my making an effort to affirm your love for your spouse.
It takes time to make the effort to be kind to your spouse. Be thoughtful of their feelings, desires and needs. Show your appreciation for what they do for you and for the family as a unit. Be respectful towards them in public even more than in private. Show your supportiveness by doing things to help your spouse before being asked. Do the dishes or laundry need cleaning or putting away? Do this for them.
Be affirming towards your spouse by telling them you noticed when they have done something positive.
Try with all that is within you not to take your spouse for granted. Indeed! You also want to be appreciated for your efforts so show your appreciation often.
Listen to what your spouse is saying when they express their feelings to you.
Try to be understanding of the efforts they are putting out and the attitudes they are feeling.
You have needs you want your spouse to fulfill and they have needs they are looking to you to fulfill.
Try to be understanding of their needs and even place their needs above your own.
Never stop dating your spouse and remember to flirt and have fun with your spouse while you are on your dates.
Do what you can to work together around the house.
Working together splits the work in half and gets it all done twice as fast.
Try to simplify your lives.
Consider how much time you and your spouse spend at work, chores around the house, hobbies, family, friends and volunteering. Plan for spending quantities of quality time alone together every week.
Look for areas where you can cut back in order to have more time to spend with your spouse or even better; look for ideas for how you can both spend time together doing things with friends and family without over exerting yourselves. Going until you drop from exhaustion will not help either of you or your relationship.
Finally; remember to say those three little words that mean so much everyday “I Love You”.
Say them out loud as often as you can remember to.
Reaffirming your love in this way will lead to feelings of love that will overcome many unrealistic expectations.