5 steps towards a stronger relationship
Healthy, fulfilling, meaningful and growing relationships have several things in common.
Work towards oneness.
It takes work to stay involved in the life of your loved one. Try to the best of your ability to not allow you relationship to drift into separateness where you each are doing your own thing. Without meaning to many couples simply fail to keep communications going and stop doing things together. This leads to increasing the distance between how they each live. Each needs to take the time daily to communicate your love for one another and looking for ways to do things together. It may be a simple as a weekly shopping trip or sitting together while reading your favorite books or watching your favorite shows.
Work through conflict
The sooner you acknowledge you’re having problems, the sooner you can begin to solve them. The central truth is unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and additional unresolved conflicts. Some couples feel uncomfortable when voice levels rise as people express their feelings and will shut down as soon as the volume goes up. Others only feel they have reached resolution after raising their voices and fully expressing their anger or disappointment in that way. Whichever way works for you the key to successful resolution is to not avoid the conflict but working on the boundaries for resolution. You should each feel safe to express yourselves without trying to “WIN” by using the power of your emotions against your spouse.
Be quick to apologize.
The truth is that sometimes it’s hard to say I’m sorry. That’s when it’s time to remember the question, “would you rather be right or would you rather be happy”?
Accept that things don’t always make sense in a relationship and that confusion and misunderstandings can happen easily. It’s a mark of maturity when you can say, I’m so sorry for my part in what has happened between us. Take responsibility early for your words and deeds. Be sincere and seek forgiveness while being willing to forgive just as quickly.
It has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.
If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give.” While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.
Look for ways to do things for your spouse.
Many of the irritants and stressors in modern day life are the little things—the extra time it takes to pick up the cleaning on the way home from work or to put the clean dishes in the dishwasher away. When you see some errand or task that you can do to save your partner time, offer to do it.
Look for opportunities to give your spouse a few minutes to relax or have downtime. Watch for things you can do to pamper your partner when you can. It’s often the little things that can make a big difference in marital happiness and satisfaction.
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