No one I know likes conflict. While I have had to teach myself not to go out of my way to go around it but, neither do I seek it out daily. I found that the best way to avoid conflict is to follow the advice God has given us in his word.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
Those who are quick to answer seem to be quick to kindle the fire of wrath (both in themselves and in others). But according to proverbs the person who is slow to get angry is better than the mighty person and he that rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city.
Persons half instructed in biblical truths frequently have a high opinion of their own knowledge in religious matters and are very fond of teaching others, and zealous to bring them over to their opinions. It is better for them also to be slow to speak and consider their answers before giving them. James is asking all Christians to not easily be provoked by anyone into saying hurtful things or performing hurtful actions. Flying off the handle does no one any good. Listen to whatever others say and be slow to respond and even slower to become angry about what is said. Often it is God people are angry at and you will simply be the closest representative they can vent upon.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Being mild in your speech is not a sign of weakness. A quiet gentle answer turns hot wrath away from you and even stops its progress, turns it aside and can make it retreat. It is like cooling salve on a wound and can help heal words which wound. Your first response to a person who has hot anger should be a cooling, easy and gentle response. This will give you both time to think and calm the situation down a notch.
Handled improperly, attempts at conflict resolution can actually make the conflict worse. If you’re constantly criticizing someone’s character, or shutting down during arguments rather than working through conflict in a proactive, respectful way; you will create hard feelings even hurt the resolution process.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Not only are we instructed to be bearing one another’s burdens, and with one another’s weaknesses, but also to be forbearing. We are not to render evil for evil, or railing for railing, or to seek revenge for affronts given, in whatsoever way, whether by words or deeds. It is for we who profess Christ as our savior to live with our brothers and sisters in Christ (as well as with the members of our own households) in an attitude of gratitude. We are called to be loving and quick to forgive as we have received forgiveness from God. No one is perfect and therefore everyone will make mistakes. We all desire to be forgiven so let us be the first to seek to make peace with those around us.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.